I choose pleasure over virtue because I'm ignorant. If I had known the Truth that writing my philosophy paper would make me virtuous and happy, I would have done it ages ago!
Thank you for trying to enlighten me with your wisdom and insight. I now know that I know nothing now and that's all thanks to you. You rule man.
And Aristotle, just because I watched Dexter all week instead of writing my paper does not make me a brute, you big dummy. Leave me alone and stop trying to make me feel so guilty.
Baaaaaaaaaarf. Someone finish my paper pleeeease!