Tuesday, December 28, 2010

Commence Operation Cedar City Boyfriend

Sometimes your heart might go pitter patter for a certain long-haired ruffian ever since your junior year of high school. Sometimes said ruffian dates one million other super skanks and prefers to climb rocks with a married man that has three children rather than hang out with you. And sometimes you might get tired of being blown off.

That being said, if you are located in the Cedar City area and would like to drive me around and pay for my dinners I would reciprocate by letting you call me your girlfriend. To sweeten the deal I'll ask you how your day was and maybe hold your hand. Maybe.

Saturday, December 25, 2010

Friday, December 24, 2010


I get to work all day today and tomorrow which means I will be watching season five of Dexter all day today and tomorrow by myself in this tiny room. MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Also right now I love the internet and I love my sister and I probably love you too deep deep down.

Also, shout out to Hayley for giving me little friend who is sitting here at work with me so I'm not totally alone for the next 8 hours and one for Jenni who is still miss popular sadies queen to me and makes me go out and be social and one for Eric who is such a gentleman and an artist and one for Jordan who is such a wise guy and one huge totally big fat one especially for Brad who played Trivial Pursuit AND Deafening Darkness with me even though he didn't want to cause he's so grown up now and then went to a movie with me then drove me up to work and is waiting for me to finish so I can go back home to be with my family who are the most important people in the world to me.

Just so full of love right now it's spilling out of me onto the keyboard.

Also I love my kitty cat, she's so cute and I love her and she's a really good cat and also my little Cheesta cakes I love her and she is so beautiful and once I said she was one of the most creative people I know and I really meant it cause she just exudes this tangible sense of imagination. One thing I am not loving right now is MGMT Pandora I would appreciate it if you didn't play anymore of that.

SOme more things I'm loving right now: texting Jenni, slouching in my chair, Karen O, the boiler room, my hair, Brad's hair, Riley's hair and her pretty face, blah blah, I'm really glad I got to see Hayley.

One more thing that I don't really love: When there are a lot of words on someone's post and no pictures. Sorry no one has to read this but look at this picture of a cat. My patronus would be this cat.

Saturday, December 18, 2010

Saturday Night Speed Racer

Just me and my favorite protagonist. Sigh...

Thursday, December 2, 2010

My Real Main Man

So wise. And so glamorous.

Wednesday, December 1, 2010

Found Dog

I came home from Thanksgiving break to find this little guy bounding across my living room towards me. He's such a sweetie pie and I love him so much, but there's one major problem:
My roommates stole him off the street.

Apparently they were driving down Main Street and saw him on the side of the road. He has a collar, but no dog tag and my constant reminders that this dog belongs to someone else falls on deaf ears. No found dog signs have been put up and since I don't have a car and it's too cold to walk around town hanging up posters, this blog post is the best I can do.

If you're reading this and this is your missing puppy, you'd better come rescue him post haste!
My evil roommates are devising a plan to take your dog to the pound and then turn around and adopt him so he legally will belong to them!

Also I look like a degenerate version of Coco Rocha in this picture.

My Main Man

Socrates, you were so right.
I choose pleasure over virtue because I'm ignorant. If I had known the Truth that writing my philosophy paper would make me virtuous and happy, I would have done it ages ago!
Thank you for trying to enlighten me with your wisdom and insight. I now know that I know nothing now and that's all thanks to you. You rule man.

And Aristotle, just because I watched Dexter all week instead of writing my paper does not make me a brute, you big dummy. Leave me alone and stop trying to make me feel so guilty.

Baaaaaaaaaarf. Someone finish my paper pleeeease!

Friday, November 26, 2010

I lost my cell phone

and all of a sudden I find my house phone disconnected.
Without a driver's license I'm afraid I've been cut off from the world completely.

If there's anyone out there, send help!

Wednesday, November 17, 2010

Count your many curses

I curse you from the bottom of my heart for not notifying your 2D design class that you would be absent today. And I curse you extra for finally deciding to tell the class of its cancellation by texting my mortal enemy and having her announce it to us. And I'm throwing in one extra curse for insisting to be called "Doctor" and chastising your students when they call you "Professor". And one more for wearing that fedora to class on Monday.

2. AT&T
I have been abnormally responsible with my cell phone as of late, but that doesn't matter as AT&T has refused to give me service. AT&T I curse you for your false advertising of more bars in more places and I curse your totally lame TV commercials.

3. The St. George Police Department
I curse you for taking away my license and searching my car and questioning me that one time and for making me miss my accounting class that one time and for making me wait in Beaver while you chatted it up with the cashier while eating flaming hot Cheetos. And I curse the judicial system for not being very organized and I curse the judge for taking away my license and then asking me how I was gonna get around and then laughing at me when I said I guess I'll have to walk.

4. My Roommate's Boyfriend
I curse you for being five years older than your barely legal girlfriend and making her do your laundry. I curse your surprise birthday party at my house tonight and I curse your good looks and your bad manners. You are the definition of a sweet bro. You are a Socs and I am a Greaser and our battle will never end.

OK, I just got really bored. Oh wait:

5. Obnoxious Ring Tones
I curse you for reminding me I don't have service anywhere in this city.

Monday, November 15, 2010

Lay Off

At this moment everyone in my art class is bashing Harry Potter.
Grow up everyone.
Oh no, now my professor is doing a stand up routine of his interpretation of the movie.

"So everyone died in the last movie right? So there's only like five character left? How is there going to be a plot? It's gonna be like: Sooooo Voldemort... you gonna finish that sandwich?"

Oh, Doctor Corey B. Strange, you're hillllllarious.

And meanwhile I'm sitting in the corner of the class planning out my Death Eater outfit. I think I'm going to dye my hair darker too so I look totally evil and once I'm suited up I'm going to come back to class and curse everyone to oblivion.

Then I'm going to destroy my professor's crappy Pandora radio station. Seriously what is this? I think I'm listening to a live performance of a Train song. Yikes. Thirty more minutes of class... thirty minutes... thirty minutes.

If only I had a time turner.

Sunday, November 7, 2010

ET phone home

And let me catch a ride on your spaceship back to Cedar.

Tuesday, November 2, 2010

A Fortuitous String of Advents

My life has been so boring so I haven't been blogging. Actually, that hasn't stopped me before, but instead of posting a kitten video, I've decided to post some exciting things that have gotten me out of bed.

First: My hair has been so cooperative lately. This whole bushy, slightly curly, middle part trend is really working in my favor.

Second: I just got my first school pride sweater. It's red and awesome. I think I'm going to wear it everyday just like that Roxy sweater I wore everyday in middle school.

Thirdly: I just had a job interview. I have the most pleasant phone voice and the interviewer let me show off by pretending to call me and having me answer. I was so courteous and charming and my high pony tail was so full and voluptuous. The only reason I won't get the job is because the interviewer was jealous of my hair. Or maybe because there are more qualified canidates out there. Whatever.

Fourth: I got to visit Sufjan last night and he wore his special silver pants for the occasion and he took me here:

And it was totally awesome.

Fifth: Some weirdo old guy said hi to me as I walked past the tennis courts. Turns out it was one of my professors who was really impressed by my in-class presentation. And I was really impressed by his correct pronunciation of my name. I see a beautiful friendship blossoming. I've decided the only people I really want to be friends with in Cedar are all my professors 'cause all the kids here like to wear bright neon colored hats that match their shirts and shoes. Who do they think they are? Justin Beiber? Also I saw a girl today that had lace tights on and a lace shirt like some sort of Lady Gaga outfit gone awry.
I don't understand this matchy matchy thing, but what do I know? I wore the same sweater everyday all throughout middle school.

Saturday, October 23, 2010

I'm a Lady

I know what's been mad, you really don't. Try to hold a light to me.

Wednesday, October 20, 2010

Sunday, October 10, 2010

Good one

You're so skinny!

Thanks, I don't eat.

...That oughta do it.

Bobs by Sketchers

ha ha ha ha.

Thursday, September 23, 2010

Friends Forever

Thanks for always getting me through the night.

Sorry I always look tired and bored in my posts. Maybe I need to get cornrows again. I looked happy in those pictures.

Also, I just wanted to share this awesome text conversation I just had:

S: I think Heraclitus is the best and Thales is the worst.
J: Yeah I thought Heraclitus too, but I like Thales.
S: Thales is a fool. I challenge your Thales to a battle! Anaximander, I choose you! APEIRON ATTACK!!
J: Go Pythagoras! MATHMATIKOI SMASH!!!
S: Zeno, use Flying Arrow Dodge!

What? You don't get it? Me either. Will someone please finish my essay while I finish this philosophical battle?

Saturday, September 18, 2010


I should be writing my paper but I keep watching this instead.

Wednesday, September 8, 2010

What up Tim Tam?

You lookin so crisp!

Friday, September 3, 2010

Thursday, September 2, 2010

Death and Life and Quilty Quilt

I finally finished! Now let's go camping!!

Wednesday, September 1, 2010

Happy Anniversary

Love you guys.
I'll take care of you.
You mean the world to me.

Sunday, August 29, 2010

gossip girl

I tried to tell at least four people about the clogs I wanted to buy and no one cared.
I need some girl friends here to talk about shoes with. And my hair. Someone talk to me about my hair. And let's talk about all those weird hippie girls in Cedar.
But seriously OMG so cute. Like totally.

Tuesday, August 24, 2010

Truebloods in that corner

You know in gym class when they have you all line up and they number you off 1...2...3...4...
and all the 1's go to this corner to be on a team and all the 2's go to that corner to be on a different team and so on and you and your best friend wanted to be on the same team so you calculated which spot you needed to be in to make sure you were each a #4 so you could go to the same corner to be on the same team?

Well, when my sister and I were in heaven and were just little tiny spirit beings boppin' around all over the place they told everybody to line up so they could number us off into little families and when all the little spirit balls started to line up and they started to count off, we scuttled and shuffled and scrambled around in line to make sure we would get the same number so we could be in the same family so we could always have each other to grow with and to play with and to take care of no matter what.

Tuesday, August 17, 2010


Thanks for ruining my life. I'm never going to forgive you. EVER.

Monday, August 16, 2010

Trivial Pursuit

Because Perfect Jordan was playing I say we get a 2 wedge handicap and declare me the winner.

Then I came home and wrote an essay for my little sister because I was still riding that trivial high.


that's it I guess

Sunday, August 1, 2010

One day you'll look out your window

and see me sleeping on the sidewalk using my shoes as my pillow. Except all the shoes I love have, through some mishap, been obliterated. Anyways, I came up with that imagery 'cause that's what I saw when I woke up this morning and looked out the window.


Tuesday, July 20, 2010

I think I have a heart condition

cause when you walked past my work I nearly fainted.

Wednesday, July 7, 2010

My Big Brother

was Big's brother.

Thursday, July 1, 2010


I think it's weird when people cry when they get pulled over. No offense. I mean, I'll admit I've shed a couple of tears when I see those flashing lights, but only from sheer boredom. I really want to know why those officers take so long looking up my information. I've gotta start stowing my gameboy in my glove compartment so when they vanish back into their vehicle my brain doesn't deteriorate and start dripping out my ears because that's a mess no one wants to clean up. You know they have this game called Brain Age for the DS that makes you smarter? I used to play it all the time on my old boyfriends DS. I also used to play a copy of his old roommates Animal Crossing. She used to ask for it back all the time and I was like "Um, yeah, I'll get that back to you... one of these days.." It wasn't until after she packed up all her stuff and moved out of the state to get away from her boyfriend that I had a secret crush on that I realized why she was so adamant about getting her game back. Oh well, if she had really wanted it she would have stayed and worked things out with her boyfriend.

Saturday, June 26, 2010

Blogs are hard to maintain

but my mom has come to visit and the treat drawer is once again full to the brim with deliciousness!

And I really love Givenchy's fall/winter 2009 runway show.

I dunno, that's all I guess.

Tuesday, June 8, 2010

Let me tell you all aboot Ha-Wah-ee

It's a teeny tiny island in the middle of the Pacific ocean and it's far, far away from me.

Friday, June 4, 2010

Friday Mornings

Cartoon Network's saving grace.
Seriously, this show is so funny.

Thursday, May 27, 2010

Thank Goodness

Lindsay Lohan dyed her hair again.

What? Shut up. This is my blog.

Wednesday, May 26, 2010

We are adventurers

Oh gross. My dad is sick and just tried to take his medicine, but he just coughed and splashed water everywhere. But on the plus side, it's really nice when your Swiss innkeeper gives you bread and cheese and makes you hot tea after a long, tedious drive.


Right? Am I right? I'm right.

Tuesday, May 25, 2010

Livin' the life

Ah, started out the day barefooted making daisy chains, climbed around for a bit, went exploring, then laughed through a terrible Disney movie and ended it talking to my beautiful bestie.

What a great day.

Sunday, May 23, 2010

Jet Slag

Trying to sleep in my dad's playhouse Disney themed apartment.
I just got here this morning and boy, oh boy! what a terrible trip. I started yesterday at 4:00 in the morning (!!!) and didn't get here until 9:00 am the next day, but that doesn't include the time change, I don't know how the hell that works. All I know is; I'm so tired, but can't sleep! This always happens to me.

It doesn't help that I have this crazy cough either. I'm usually really good about sleeping on airplanes and car rides and stuff, but I kept coughing myself awake. The people next to me were great sports about it. One guy gave me so many pills and cough drops and I don't really like taking medicine, but I looked down at my snot stained sleeve and back into the guys face and knew I had to swallow whatever he gave me. The next lady told me to go to the hospital.

Cough cough, I'm going to try to sleep now.

Wednesday, May 5, 2010

Happy Cinco De Mayo

No one I'm with is being as festive as me. I need better friends.
Or at least friends with better mustaches.

Thursday, April 29, 2010

Rock n roll you ate my soul

Why do I hate my geology class so much?
I love my professor...
My classmates are all right...
And I even won a medal in third grade for my rock collection.

Sigh. Natural sciences, you are the bane of my existance.

Wednesday, April 28, 2010

To grandmother's house we go!

Sometimes when you know someone well enough you sort of develop your own little language and one of you might say a little phrase and the other knows to go to pieces over it, but when you try that same joke with someone else, they don't understand so you have to make up you're own joke just for you and them.

I like it when I get to see my old friends and we get to talk our own little talk, but I like it even more when they accidently slip in some of the jokes from their other friendships. It's almost like I get to meet my old friend's new friends.

Saturday, April 24, 2010

Thoughts on slavery and bad days

Sometimes the universe sends you a live in slave.
They claim to want to cook and clean and teach you yoga in exchange for room and board.
They may also tell you they love to bake and want to teach you to follow a raw food diet. You might become excited to meet this slave, even though you are a little shy and need a lot of space, especially from strangers.

However, sometimes the universe sends you a tiny insecure mooch with issues about boys and the way she looks that can't cook and complains about cleaning. For one who professes to be so in tune with nature, I can't comprehend how finding a cockroach in the basement could call for a scream so loud.

You want to go to the grocery store? There are five bikes in the garage. It will take you ten minutes to get there.
You need new clothes? Fine. I'll drive you to the mall. But stop talking about how you are going to go through an Indie phase. I don't even know what that means.
If I stop at Starbucks will you stop talking? And while we are waiting in the drive thru can you explain to me how a java chip frappuccino fits into a raw diet?
Sigh. And if you ever ruin one of my craft projects again I will knit your face into a scarf.

The worst part is, I just spent half an hour typing this. She's not even here and all I can think about is how she makes my insides squirm.

Things like this angora rabbit help me get over bad days.
C'mon!!! Is that fooooorrrrrrrr rrrrrrreeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaaaaaaallllllll??????

Monday, April 12, 2010

The Goods

Check out my new laptop bag
Hello there Bottega Veneta. Nice to meet you. What refined taste you have.

Wednesday, March 31, 2010

Milky Wartz

Yesterday was my best friend's birthday.
Jenni, I love you so much.
I feel so lucky all the time that I have you to play with and talk with and grow up with. Here's to another 60 years of a beautiful friendship!

Baby, you got a death grip on my heart.
Hell yeah, love love.

Monday, March 29, 2010

I'm falling asleep

must... stay... awake...

Hair Did

I finally got cornrows!

Yeah... I know, they look kind of silly.  But they were exciting and new.  
They only lasted like two days anyways, so whatever.