Friday, November 26, 2010

I lost my cell phone

and all of a sudden I find my house phone disconnected.
Without a driver's license I'm afraid I've been cut off from the world completely.

If there's anyone out there, send help!

Wednesday, November 17, 2010

Count your many curses

I curse you from the bottom of my heart for not notifying your 2D design class that you would be absent today. And I curse you extra for finally deciding to tell the class of its cancellation by texting my mortal enemy and having her announce it to us. And I'm throwing in one extra curse for insisting to be called "Doctor" and chastising your students when they call you "Professor". And one more for wearing that fedora to class on Monday.

2. AT&T
I have been abnormally responsible with my cell phone as of late, but that doesn't matter as AT&T has refused to give me service. AT&T I curse you for your false advertising of more bars in more places and I curse your totally lame TV commercials.

3. The St. George Police Department
I curse you for taking away my license and searching my car and questioning me that one time and for making me miss my accounting class that one time and for making me wait in Beaver while you chatted it up with the cashier while eating flaming hot Cheetos. And I curse the judicial system for not being very organized and I curse the judge for taking away my license and then asking me how I was gonna get around and then laughing at me when I said I guess I'll have to walk.

4. My Roommate's Boyfriend
I curse you for being five years older than your barely legal girlfriend and making her do your laundry. I curse your surprise birthday party at my house tonight and I curse your good looks and your bad manners. You are the definition of a sweet bro. You are a Socs and I am a Greaser and our battle will never end.

OK, I just got really bored. Oh wait:

5. Obnoxious Ring Tones
I curse you for reminding me I don't have service anywhere in this city.

Monday, November 15, 2010

Lay Off

At this moment everyone in my art class is bashing Harry Potter.
Grow up everyone.
Oh no, now my professor is doing a stand up routine of his interpretation of the movie.

"So everyone died in the last movie right? So there's only like five character left? How is there going to be a plot? It's gonna be like: Sooooo Voldemort... you gonna finish that sandwich?"

Oh, Doctor Corey B. Strange, you're hillllllarious.

And meanwhile I'm sitting in the corner of the class planning out my Death Eater outfit. I think I'm going to dye my hair darker too so I look totally evil and once I'm suited up I'm going to come back to class and curse everyone to oblivion.

Then I'm going to destroy my professor's crappy Pandora radio station. Seriously what is this? I think I'm listening to a live performance of a Train song. Yikes. Thirty more minutes of class... thirty minutes... thirty minutes.

If only I had a time turner.

Sunday, November 7, 2010

ET phone home

And let me catch a ride on your spaceship back to Cedar.

Tuesday, November 2, 2010

A Fortuitous String of Advents

My life has been so boring so I haven't been blogging. Actually, that hasn't stopped me before, but instead of posting a kitten video, I've decided to post some exciting things that have gotten me out of bed.

First: My hair has been so cooperative lately. This whole bushy, slightly curly, middle part trend is really working in my favor.

Second: I just got my first school pride sweater. It's red and awesome. I think I'm going to wear it everyday just like that Roxy sweater I wore everyday in middle school.

Thirdly: I just had a job interview. I have the most pleasant phone voice and the interviewer let me show off by pretending to call me and having me answer. I was so courteous and charming and my high pony tail was so full and voluptuous. The only reason I won't get the job is because the interviewer was jealous of my hair. Or maybe because there are more qualified canidates out there. Whatever.

Fourth: I got to visit Sufjan last night and he wore his special silver pants for the occasion and he took me here:

And it was totally awesome.

Fifth: Some weirdo old guy said hi to me as I walked past the tennis courts. Turns out it was one of my professors who was really impressed by my in-class presentation. And I was really impressed by his correct pronunciation of my name. I see a beautiful friendship blossoming. I've decided the only people I really want to be friends with in Cedar are all my professors 'cause all the kids here like to wear bright neon colored hats that match their shirts and shoes. Who do they think they are? Justin Beiber? Also I saw a girl today that had lace tights on and a lace shirt like some sort of Lady Gaga outfit gone awry.
I don't understand this matchy matchy thing, but what do I know? I wore the same sweater everyday all throughout middle school.