Wednesday, November 17, 2010

Count your many curses

I curse you from the bottom of my heart for not notifying your 2D design class that you would be absent today. And I curse you extra for finally deciding to tell the class of its cancellation by texting my mortal enemy and having her announce it to us. And I'm throwing in one extra curse for insisting to be called "Doctor" and chastising your students when they call you "Professor". And one more for wearing that fedora to class on Monday.

2. AT&T
I have been abnormally responsible with my cell phone as of late, but that doesn't matter as AT&T has refused to give me service. AT&T I curse you for your false advertising of more bars in more places and I curse your totally lame TV commercials.

3. The St. George Police Department
I curse you for taking away my license and searching my car and questioning me that one time and for making me miss my accounting class that one time and for making me wait in Beaver while you chatted it up with the cashier while eating flaming hot Cheetos. And I curse the judicial system for not being very organized and I curse the judge for taking away my license and then asking me how I was gonna get around and then laughing at me when I said I guess I'll have to walk.

4. My Roommate's Boyfriend
I curse you for being five years older than your barely legal girlfriend and making her do your laundry. I curse your surprise birthday party at my house tonight and I curse your good looks and your bad manners. You are the definition of a sweet bro. You are a Socs and I am a Greaser and our battle will never end.

OK, I just got really bored. Oh wait:

5. Obnoxious Ring Tones
I curse you for reminding me I don't have service anywhere in this city.


  1. haha i laughed at the part about the sweetbro.
    and then i felt sick to my stomach after thinking "what if a sweetbro had a surprised birthday party at MY house?"

  2. Dave, if you move up here you're guaranteed to live with at least one sweet bro. Cedar is rampant with them.

  3. you are great.
    although these are things you hate, they made me laugh so much. i hope you have cell service again soon so we can be texting buddies once again. are you coming for skanksiveen?

  4. also. flaming hot cheetos are nasty.